Sunday, August 23, 2009

Looking Back

Sarah is having a hard time going to sleep.

First day of the 5th grade and all tomorrow.

This is our 6th first day at her elementary school, and our last. In other words, I'm gonna cry tomorrow.

And then I'm gonna cry at the parent-teacher conference. And at the Carnival in October. And at every other last thing we do at this school this year. I just can't believe it. It was yesterday she was my five-year-old trying so hard to be brave on her first day of kindergarten. And completely freaking out every time there was a fire drill, to the point to where her teacher would tell me when they were going to have one so I could be there. And I'll also never forget her little friend Olivia telling me, in her very small voice at one such fire drill, "I like your purse." Cracked me up. That kid still has good taste, too.

Sarah isn't afraid of fire drills any more. And she doesn't cry when I drop her off in the mornings. And she can read and write and do arithmetic. She has great friends, and she loves theater and dance and loggerhead sea turtles and various other things. She's changed a lot in the past five years. I haven't changed all that much.

One of my favorite favorite songs is by the Indigo Girls, called "Watershed."

And there's always retrospect
(when you're looking back)
To light a clearer path
Every five years or so I look back on my life
And I have a good laugh
You start at the top
Go full circle round
Catch a breeze
Take a spill
But ending up where I started again
Makes me wanna stand still

I actually want to put the lyrics to the entire song in this post because it is just such a good song and I think it's so very true. But "ending up where I started again" is okay with me, because the journey is so worthwhile. I haven't changed all that much in five years, but I think about the people who have come in and out of my life, and the places I've been, and the highs and the lows, and I do have a good laugh and feel pretty good about where I am, even if I am where I started, again.

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