I have been completely exhausted all day long. Took two naps. Wasn't very productive. And I've been whipping myself about it. You know, thinking - I am wasting this day! I have things to do! I can't just be lazy like this!
Then at some point, it dawned on me that I had a complete bear of a week. I was in Omaha Monday through Wednesday, and it was intense. Meetings all day long. Very late nights. Got home in time to put Sarah to bed Wednesday night. Two frenzied days in the office after that trying to process all I had learned and get caught up from being gone. Dance rehearsal Thursday night and Friday night for both me and Sarah...and Friday went until 10:30. Spent all day Saturday getting Sarah ready for the show. Last minute things to buy. Organizing costumes. Running all over the place. Performance Saturday night.
Uh, it's really OKAY THAT I'M TIRED TODAY.
Why, as women, is it so hard to accept the fact that we get tired sometimes. That we need a break. I needed a day of rest today...why did that make me feel weak? How incredibly stupid is that? I worked my ass off this week on about eight different fronts. Some down time was in order. Why couldn't I just recognize that and relax?
But I suppose part of it is...if I don't get everything done today, Sarah and I suffer all week. So what is the answer? What is a girl to do when she is exhausted but this big world just keeps spinning around anyway?
I guess what I always do. Push through the tired. Get it all done. And fall into bed thinking I am pretty damn cool for everything I accomplished this week. And promise to give myself a big fat break the next time I need a nap, and not beat myself up for being human. To my knowledge, we don't get extra points in heaven for being tough, or strong, or independent, or for being organized and together all the time for that matter. So what's the point?
And maybe just maybe I need to schedule that 90-minute massage Big gave me for Valentine's Day.