Monday, February 8, 2010

Pain. And a Pity Party.

So do we remember when I posted this?  About that cracked rib business?  It has been a couple of weeks and it's not better.  At all.  So I've just been living with this physical pain. 

I finally caved today and went to the doctor.  Yes, I have a fractured rib.  No, there is really nothing to be done.  Which I knew...but then I completely freaked myself out worrying I had gotten it wrong and there was something really wrong with me.  The good news is there isn't. 

The bad news is that it still hurts so much.  I don't recall a physical pain like this and it feels like I've been dealing with it forever.  I don't know how to make it better.  I don't know what to do or what not do to make it better or worse.  It's pissing me off.  And when I traveled last week and was hurtling my luggage up in the overhead bin because I'm short, and it sucks to do that when you're short anyway, I'm pretty sure I re-injured it.  And all this honestly makes me feel sorry for myself.  I suppose I just kind of want someone to give a shit.  Is that so bad?  I've been a good sport.  I didn't even go in to the doctor for two weeks.  But I can't sleep, and it hurts when I drive (accelerating is super painful), it hurts when I laugh, it hurts...it hurts.

God bless my sweet new doctor.  I never go see a general physician and I've been three times in about six months.  Today I got:  A chest bra (more on that in a minute), my favorite pain med ever (and I didn't even have to ask for it) and a muscle relaxant.  Minimally?  I'm gonna sleep.

And the chest bra?  That's what I call it anyway.  It's this thing that wraps super tight around my rib cage, right under my boobs...and it TOTALLY HELPS.  Sexy?  Ah, no.  But I could drive without pain once that thing was strapped around me.  It's like a girdle...only it uh, it isn't particularly flattering.

I want this to go away, I want to be able to exercise, I want to be able to sleep without pain, drive without pain, lean over to pick something up without pain...I guess physical pain puts other silly stuff in perspective.  When you hurt like this, any emotional discomfort takes a serious back-seat.  Which just confirms my general belief that most of the people I know really don't have a damn thing to complain about, including myself.  Our basic human needs are taken care of.  Think Maslow's hierarchy of needs. 

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